


Pushing Limits

by Akan_Abrun



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Aliens, Angst, BDSM, Bureaucracy, Child Abuse, F/M, M/M, Mind Meld, Telepathy, Vulcan Kiss, admiralty, age gap, child trafficking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2016-06-18
Packaged: 2018-07-12 18:01:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7116772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akan_Abrun/pseuds/Akan_Abrun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim is ordered by admiralty to seduce Sultana Keilen enough to lower her defenses, and save the children that she was holding. Pushing away his reluctancy in order to save the children, he goes behind Spock's back and gets some privacy with Keilen. In the meantime, Bones falls for a young Rewan named Pou, although the Rewan's age might serve as an issue. But when all is said and done, will the crew forgive Jim for what he's done to Spock? And will Jim get past the emotional trauma from his time with Keilen?</p><p>Warning: This does contain reference to children being abused sexually and sold, but it's not explicit at all. Also contains BDSM on Jim, and emotional issues coming from it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Jim sat back in his Captain's Chair, drumming his fingers against the armrest to keep himself occupied. His eyes naturally wandered to Spock, whom he had been in a relationship with for the past several months. He mused on how their relationship had progressed. It started with sacrificial actions during missions, and gentle, casual touches on the ship. Their relationship officially began one night as they were alone in a dimly lit observation deck, sharing whispers of the meanings of life. Jim remembered that night fondly, and the memories made him feel giddy.

Looking around at his crew, he remembered how pleased he was at how well they had received the news of his relationship with Spock. The couple told them about a month after they got together, and most of them had already found out. He was most surprised that Uhura, of all people, showed her greatest support for them. She seemed genuinely happy to see them enjoying their lives together.

Things were going quite well for everyone.

 

"Captain, we are receiving a message from Starfleet." Uhura said, turning to face him. He raised his eyebrows at her. Starfleet? What did they want this time? "They wish to speak with you privately, Captain."

"In my ready room, then, Lieutenant." Jim said, hopping off the chair and walking into the turbolift. He hoped that he wasn't in trouble for something again- he hadn't even done anything this time. Once he entered his ready room and took a seat at the desk, he got Admiral Hann on screen. The man's bright blue eyes and striking silver hair seemed to cut into Jim's soul.

"Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise," Jim said as greeting, then gave his best ass-kissing smile. "But of course, you already know that, Admiral Hann."

"Indeed, Captain." Admiral Hann said, the light wrinkling of his face due to both his seriousness and age. "You are on course for Rewan II, correct?"

"That is correct, Sir." Jim said, tapping his finger on the desk. "Has there been an altercation on the mission?"

"Not precisely..." Admiral Hann said, leaning closer to the screen. "Captain Kirk, you are alone in the room, correct?" Jim nodded, frowning slightly. "And you are aware that while on Rewan II, you are to be negotiating with a sultana by the name of Keilen?" Jim nodded again, and wondered what the man was possibly getting at. "It has come to the attention of Starfleet that Sultana Keilen has been overseeing a mass trafficking of children of many different species, and she has proven to be quite dangerous. It is imperative that you not only keep a high guard on this mission, but also to gain her favor- no matter the personal cost." Jim tried not to be phased by the idea of children trafficking, and instead focused on their conversation.

"Sir, excuse me, but what is it precisely that you mean by 'personal cost'?" Jim asked, hoping for something that wasn't sexual or harmful.

"Sultana Keilen is a renowned temptress. You must seduce her- it is the only way to breach her security." Admiral Hann explained, jabbing his finger at the desk in an authoritative gesture. "There is no other way, Captain. The people of Rewan are superior in both mental and physical capacities. The only way to best Keilen is to play at her own game."

"You know that I am in a relationsh-"

"The importance of this mission precedes your personal interests, Captain Kirk." He said, glaring at the younger man. Jim glared back. "Furthermore, you are aware that the Enterprise keeps a record of all things said and done on the ship, to be kept on file for the Admiralty to access?"

"I know that, and I don't like it because I think it's really creepy that old men could be watching us going about our business... but please continue." Jim sassed, already pissed off about this mission.

"This conversation and your task will not be discussed with anyone or anything. It will be as if this interaction never happened." Hann said, and before Jim could interject, he continued on. "When you return to the Bridge, if someone should ask what our meeting was about, you will explain that we only discussed minor altercations to the compensations to be made with the people of Rewan II. If they require elaboration, I am sure that you can come up with something. If you disclose any information regarding this discussion, there will be consequences for both you and your crew. Are we clear?"

"What I don't understand here, Admiral, is why this must be kept secret." Jim complained, and Hann gave him a disappointed look.

"Please, use that head of yours, Kirk." Hann said, and Jim deepened his glare at the old man. "If anyone else knew of our intentions to bring Keilen to justice, they would be in imminent danger. The Rewans would torture them for information if any of them breathed out of line! This is highly sensitive, Kirk!"

"However, Admiral, I am quite confident in Spock's ability to keep his lips sealed. He is a Vulcan, after all." Jim said through clenched teeth.

"Spock is also half human, which leaves him at a disadvantage." Hann countered, and Jim opened his mouth to teach Hann's ass about something called respect, but the man continued talking. "I am not going to discuss this any further. You will carry out this mission, and you will do it in silence. Admiral Hann, out." The screen went black, and Jim banged his fist against his desk.

How was he going to do this while with Spock?! He was lucky that the Vulcan even agreed to be in a relationship with him, given his promiscuous reputation. If Spock found him trying to seduce Keilen... Jim was absolutely screwed. 

\---

Once shift was over, Spock and Jim walked back to their quarters together. A while after they began their relationship, Spock moved into Jim's quarters. Spock only retreated into his own quarters when they needed time apart- and surprisingly, that usually made it easier for them to reconcile their arguments. It was a very good arrangement.

They both sat on the couch, discussing work for a while, until Spock brought up the dreaded question.

"For what reason did Starfleet contact you today?" Spock asked, and Jim gulped. 'Don't give anything away, just be smooth,' he thought to himself. 

"Oh, Admiral Hann just wanted to talk about the negotiations we'd be doing on Rewan II." Jim said, examining his nails casually. 

"Were there any altercations made to the mission?" Spock asked, trying to catch his eyes, but he just kept looking at his nails.

"Not really. He just said to widen the compensation if the people there seem difficult." Jim said, and then looked into Spock's eyes. "I love you, Spock. Don't ever doubt that." Spock rose an eyebrow and held Jim's hand.

"I love you too, Jim." He replied quietly, and they kissed each other gently. Jim couldn't help but dread the upcoming mission, but pushed it out of mind so that Spock wouldn't detect anything. It needed to stay a secret.


	2. We Hope The Planet Brings Great Pleasure

Jim, Spock, Uhura, and Bones all beamed down outside a palace on Rewan II. The planet was warm and humid, with brightly colored flora decorating everything in sight. Opposite the shiny blue palace was a stone path that led straight into a sparkling city. The area was teeming with the golden skinned Rewans chatting with each other. They wore very revealing robes, had their hair in long braids, and they all stood several inches taller than anyone in the landing party.

"Well, looks like this'll be a fun trip," Bones said suggestively, eyeing all the Rewans, which made Jim feel even worse. Without responding, he led them all into the palace.

The large doors opened to reveal a grand hall with a large throne on the opposite side. Several armed guards stood at attention, holding long jagged blades. So much for a warm welcome. The group walked towards the throne, past several guards, where there sat a long legged woman with smooth golden skin that hands could easily get lost on. She smiled at them, revealing pristine white teeth behind supple lips. She slithered from her throne, not seeming to care when her loose robes momentarily slid up to reveal more than the group had asked for.

"Good afternoon gentlemen, and beautiful young woman. I am Sultana Keilen. Welcome to my land, and please be at home here in my place of bliss." She spoke in a deep- but still feminine- voice, with an accent that could make weak hearts swoon. Jim didn't need to look to know that Bones was gawking where he stood. Keilen reached a toned arm up to pull her long brown braid over her shoulder, to hang down past her developed chest and curved hips. Jim almost felt honored that he was the one to seduce this entity- that is, until he remembered that he would be defying Spock by doing so.

"Captain James T. Kirk, of the Starship Enterprise." Jim smiled and bowed slightly, already trying give off his charm. He gestured to his companions. "This is Spock, my right hand, First and Commanding Officer. Doctor Leonard McCoy, my Chief Medical Officer. And Lieutenant Uhura, my Communications Officer. It is with great pleasure that we are welcomed to this gorgeous planet, Sultana Keilen."

"With great pleasure indeed, Captain." Keilen seemed to moan his title, immediately showing her sexual intentions. Jim merely continued to smile at her charmingly. "One of my gems will show you all to your rooms. Pou!" She called out, and a very small Rewan rushed over. "This is Pou. They are to be handling your wishes throughout your stay here. If you find that their services are unpleasant, you may request another gem of mine." Pou smiled at the group, nodding in accordance to Keilen's words. Their dark braid hung low on their back, and they folded their hands together respectfully. They stood only up to Jim's chest, easily younger than most of them.

"If we are excused, my love," Pou said softly, bowing towards Keilen. The sultana nodded and returned to her throne, swaying her body as she walked. Pou started walking to the right, and the group followed. They all exchanged looks as they walked behind the Rewan.

"Say, why did she consider you one of her gems? And why did you call her your love?" Bones asked as they journeyed down a round corridor. All of the structures within the palace seemed to be rounded, for some reason.

"We are her gems, since we live to be accessories and assets to her. She is every Rewan's love, as it is to her that we owe our lives. In the time of great struggle, Keilen came to power and granted us all bliss. It is a very good life to be serving her." Pou explained quietly before they came across a series of doors. "Behind each door is a room as equally luxurious as the next. Further down this hall, there, is the door to the washroom. Please, be at home here in our place of bliss."

Pou turned back to face the group, and Bones stepped up to them. "Thank you, Pou," he said, smiling at the Rewan. Pou only smiled softly back.

"Do any of you require my services further?" Pou asked, and they all shook their heads. "Then I shall leave you here so that you may be pleased. The lovely Sultana Keilen will be holding a grand feast in two standard hours." They said, before passing through the group and leaving. Bones rose his eyebrows at Jim, and the captain shrugged. The people sure did act strange around here. They each picked their rooms- round expanses adorned with decorative pieces of art and flora, and furnished with the most comforting of beds. It seemed like the perfect vacation.

However, Jim knew that this was only their facade, and it hurt to keep it from the others.

\---

As promised, the dining hall was filled with the smells of fruits and meats, and the sight of many Rewans mingling at the large rounded tables was something to behold. At the far end, in front of a large window, was one smaller table in which Sultana Keilen stood from. This would signal the beginning of Jim's long, demanding night.

Keilen stalked over to them, keeping constant eye contact with Jim. "You are all welcome to enjoy yourselves, and eat what you wish. As for your Captain, I have a special seat reserved for him." She said smoothly, and Jim smirked at her. His suggestive face betrayed him as he felt the inner turmoil of already cheating on Spock. 'Do it for the children, Jim!' He told himself. 'Hundreds of children are being sold for nefarious purposes all because of this woman. Do it for them!'

He allowed himself to follow swiftly behind Keilen, avoiding any lanky Rewans in his path. One was enough. He didn't need to be the center of attention right now. He cursed his charm and good looks. Why couldn't it have been Bones?! He was practically falling over himself to even talk to Pou!

"Take a seat, Captain. You must be hungry for real food, after your many daring travels." Keilen said, sitting gracefully on one of the chairs. Jim held his smirk and lowered himself onto the chair across from her. They each had empty silver (real silver!) plates in front of them, and there was a variety of different foods on the table for them to choose from. Keilen wasn't in the least bit shy, so she started piling up slices of fruits and vegetables on her plate. Jim followed suit, forking slices of different colored foods on his plate, and the aroma of it all was amazing.

"Thank you for welcoming us here so warmly." Jim said, smiling at her. She smiled back, once again showing her perfect teeth. He may have been devoted to Spock, but he couldn't deny her beauty.

"It is my pleasure, Captain." Keilen said, and started eating fruit slices with her fingers, and Jim watched as she sucked her index finger seductively. He swallowed hard.

"Please, call me James." He requested, licking his lips. He didn't want her to call him something so personal as Jim, but it wouldn't be good if she kept calling him by his title. She smirked at him.

"Of course, James." She moaned his name again, and he couldn't help but appreciate her confidence. He leaned in slightly closer to her, glancing at her lips and at her chest, trying his best to show his interest through the most obvious body language. Her smirk grew wider. "You know, we Rewans have enhanced telepathic abilities that allow for more pleasurable experiences."

"Telepathy?" Jim raised a playful eyebrow, biting his lip and leaning in even closer. She nodded, and he whispered, "I am so unbelievably into that." Which wasn't a lie, really (his boyfriend's a touch telepath).

"Then I believe we will have a very great time together. I must warn you, though, that sometimes my pleasure can become so deep that I can get lost in it." Keilen said, as if she didn't know that she just revealed a weakness. Jim smirked as seductively as possible.

"Negotiations aren't for another two hours..." Jim said quietly, looking into the sultana's eyes. "You wanna go somewhere more... quiet?" Keilen's lips curled devilishly, and Jim almost immediately regretted his future actions. He couldn't back out now, though. He had to dive into this, head on. For the children.

-

Bones, Spock, and Uhura sat together with several other Rewans at one of the many large tables in the hall. Bones had already started digging into the honeyed meat of some animal, and one of the less alcoholic beverages in the assortment. It was all so delicious, he had to take a break to digest a bit so that he could eat more later. He sat back in his chair, belly full and heart happy, and looked at everyone around him. They all looked like they were enjoying themselves- even Uhura was chatting amicably with the Rewan to her right- but Spock was different. Spock was staring in the other direction, straight at Jim and the sultana. Bones clapped the Vulcan on the shoulder.

"Cheer up, Spock. You know that smile's not actually genuine. He's just doin' that ol' Starfleet Captain Charm thing to get the negotiations over quick'n'easy." Bones said, possibly a little drink. He hiccuped, and Spock looked over at him.

"Perhaps, but I have seen how he usually acts when trying to persuade other planetary representatives. It is different now." Spock remarked, and Bones felt bad for him. He shoved a cup of some alcoholic liquid into Spock's hand, and took a drink of his own. It was just so good, he could hardly resist it all. Spock put the drink down, and looked back to Jim and Keilen. The sultana grabbed his hand, and they stood. Spock went to stand, no doubt to stop them, but Bones forced him back down.

"Don't worry, you damn hobgoblin, Jim wouldn't betray you. He really likes you, a lot, so don't worry about it. If she tries anything, I trust that he'll be outta there quicker'n you can say 'anal'." Bones tried reassuring the Vulcan, rubbing his arm gently. Then he saw a small, lovely looking Rewan across the room. "Hey, is that Pou?" He asked no one in particular, and tripped over himself to go to them.

Uhura stifled a laugh at Bones' retreating form, and looked over at Spock, who seemed displeased still. "Don't worry, Spock, I'm sure Jim will do the right thing. You know how much he loves you." She said calmly, resting a hand gently on his arm. She gave him a warm smile, and he nodded. "Have a little bit of fun, okay? Learn about the culture, eat some of the food. It's nice here." He nodded again, which was enough for her, so she went back to her conversation with Letnayi, the Rewan next to her. She tried involving Spock in their conversation a few times, to which he responded each time, but was still occupied with his thoughts. Poor guy.


	3. Shit goes down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some blood and violence in this one.

"I wonder what's going on down there?" Sulu said, sitting back in his chair on the Bridge. It had been quite a while, and only Uhura had been keeping them updated on everything happening on the surface. It seemed like they were all having fun, by how light and airy her voice sounded.

"I dunno, but I cannae help but wish they'd'a let us down with 'em. I'd sure appreciate some shore leave right about noe." Scotty sighed, having been on the Bridge ever since the landing party left. He was acting captain over Sulu, which didn't bother either of them in the least. Scotty deserved it, and he was usually better under bureaucratic pressure than Sulu was.

"Yeah no kidding. Especially with how Uhura's describing it. It sounds really beautiful." Sulu said, turning to the Scotsman. "Maybe we could comm the Captain and ask if we can pop down for a quick visit?"

"I would, sonny, but I'm afraid there's probably a reason as to why he hasn't contacted us in a while." Scotty said through his thick accent, shaking his head. "He might be a wee bit too busy at the moment to chat with us."

-

Jim's tongue danced with Keilen's as they were grinding against each other on the sultana's bed. He saw a control panel against one of the walls when they arrived, but he didn't have time to dwell on it before she had shoved him onto the bed. He nipped at her throat, applying pressure to it with his hand to try and indirectly let her think that he was a kinky guy. She seemed to be into it, moaning whenever he thumbed at her smooth neck.

Jim was feeling insurmountably guilty and horrible about the whole exchange, but he knew that he had to do it for the children. Their many lives were more important than his personal life. He pushed the thoughts to the back of his head, never to be found by this devilish woman, and pushed forward all feelings of pleasure and desire. It was a little mental trick he had learned by being with Spock.

Keilen straddled him and sat up. Her eyes were glowing, as if she was in some sort of sex-induced power state. She reached a hand down and ripped off a piece of the silk sheets, then forced Jim's hands above his head. He knew what she had planned, and he shook his head adamantly. "No, I'm a sadist, not a masochist." He said firmly, and her eyebrow rose up on her head. Then he played at a small smirk. "But if you're willing, we could switch positions." The corner of the sultana's mouth quirked.

"Oh, James, you're cute. But you're my prisoner now." Keilen grinned devilishly, and Jim felt a new sense of dread in his stomach.

-

Bones listened to Pou talk fondly about the city and its beauties. He couldn't stop looking at the small Rewan, their smooth golden skin was a gorgeous expanse, and he couldn't get over those big curious eyes. When Pou seemed finished talking about the Grand Bazaar that happened annually, Bones decided to make his move.

"You know, Pou, we could go back'ta my room for a good time." He suggested, sipping at the same drink that he'd grown fond of during the feast. It was sweet, but also had a tangy sour taste that wasn't quite strong enough to drown out the distinct alcohol flavor. He loved it.

"Would it please you to do so?" Pou asked quietly, looking up at Bones with their cute face. They seemed rather innocent, so Bones thought to go gently.

"Honey, I s'pect it'll please the both'a us." Bones smiled, grabbing Pou's hand and kissing it softly before leading them off in the direction to where he suspected his room was.

Pou helped them both into the room, obviously much more sober (did they even drink at all tonight?), and they sat together on the bed. Bones grabbed both of their hands in his, wondering whether to start this off in a more gentle or a more direct way. He wondered how much experience Pou had.

"How old're you, anyway? Rewans age 'bout the same as us, right?" Bones asked, looking Pou over. They blushed, their cheeks turning orange. Bones thought that it was the most adorable thing.

"I have... almost ten and seven years." Pou answered, and Bones blinked at them. He swallowed hard and took his hands away.

"You're... so young. But you seemed okay with this? Have you ever...?" Bones asked, so shocked that he almost sobered up completely. Pou's blush intensified, and they looked away.

"Our Love encourages us all to engage in sexual activities for her enjoyment. I am... happy to please." Pou whispered the last part, and Bones could call bullshit on the 'happy' part quicker than he could put a man in a hospital. And that was damn fast.

"You mean she forced you to have sex with someone?!" Bones asked, growing angry. He stood up, and Pou looked frightened.

"Yes, but our Love is only ensuring us more love and prosperity among ourselves! We are her gems, to serve and beautify her!" Pou said frantically, but they were grasping at straws. Bones shook his head.

"How many of you?" Bones asked, but it was Pou's turn to shake their head.

"I do not... I am not supposed to say... The lovely Sultana requires our silence." Pou said quietly, but Bones put his hands on their shoulders and looked at them imploringly. Pou swallowed hard before saying quietly, "She keeps those who are not working in a room under the palace. We are not supposed to go down there unless we are to be feeding them. I... I can take you to them. You wish to free them, don't you?"

"Yes. They must be. It's my duty as an officer of Starfleet and it's also the right thing to do. Pou... I know you and the other gems love Keilen, but she isn't a good person." Bones said, and Pou opened their mouth to argue, but he talked on anyway. "Making children do such things, and keeping them locked away is a horrible thing to do. No matter where you're from or who you are, you can't argue that it is horrible."

"I... Yes, Leonard." Pou said, and Bones felt a rush of happiness and desire from the use of his first name. But no, Pou was so young, and underaged even. He couldn't possibly do anything sexual to them, no matter how drunk he was. He put a hand on their smooth cheek, running a thumb across their cheekbone.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked, his heart thumping in his chest as he looked down into Pou's big eyes. "And not because you want to do me service. I'll only do it if you want me to." He said sternly, and Pou nodded.

"Yes, Leonard, I want you to." Pou said quietly, and Bones felt another surge of something in his chest as his heart rate sped up. He leaned down, and gently pressed his lips against Pou's. They were soft, and he couldn't help but to keep kissing them, lost in the wet intimacy of it. He came to his senses eventually, though, and pulled back. Pou's cheeks were flushed orange, and Bones couldn't help but to smile sweetly down at them.

"Let's go." Bones said, grabbing Pou's hand. They nodded, and squeezed their fingers around his.

-

"Spock, try this fruit, it's fantastic." Uhura said, putting a plate of bright green fruit slices in front of Spock. He looked at them for a while before reluctantly forking one and putting it into his mouth. Uhura watched him as he chewed slowly. Before she could ask his opinion on the taste, Bones and Pou showed up, hand in hand. She raised an eyebrow at them, but Bones looked rather serious, so she didn't question anything.

"We need your help. Now." Bones demanded, and started walking off before they could respond. Uhura surmised that it was too sensitive to be discussed there, with the guards constantly watching. Trying not to look suspicious, she lifted Spock and herself up, linking arms with him as if they were a couple leaving for privacy. The Vulcan must have caught her drift, since he didn't pull away or say anything.

They wove through the crowds of happy Rewans, trying to avoid any attention. Some eyed them wearily, but Uhura just smiled and acted natural. Once they were out of the hall and into a corridor, they joined up with Bones and Pou, who were both looking around. When a guard started approaching, holding a large blade out at them, Bones lunged out and attacked the Rewan, knocking the blade from his arms. Spock detached himself from Uhura in order to help the poor doctor, and nerve pinched the guard.

The unconscious Rewan on the ground, Spock picked up the blade. "Its dynamics are not dissimilar to a lirpa." He observed aloud, and Uhura nodded for him to keep it. Spock turned to Bones, who was still disheveled by the encounter with the Rewan guard. "Doctor, I suggest that you leave the more precise work to Lieutenant Uhura and I. It is evident that you are still under the influence of-"

"Stop your yammerin', Spock, there're children down there who need us! Pou said that there'll be quite a few guards on the way." Bones interjected, clearly wanting to get down to business. Pou nodded, as if confirming Bones' claim. "Except it'll be difficult with no phasers or other weapons." He muttered, and looked down at the Rewan in search of a knife or something.

"Doctor, is it not correct that you carry a phaser pistol in your emergency medical kit?" Spock asked, and Bones slapped a hand to his face and groaned out a string of profanities. "Uhura and I will continue to the next two halls while you retrieve the phaser. Meet with us." He then turned to Pou, and raised his hands to their face. "If I may, Pou." Pou nodded in consent, and Spock performed a mind meld between them. Bones felt a little jealous about that, but he knew that the Vulcan was only doing it for information and directions.

Even so, he felt quite protective over Pou.

-

Jim felt like a stuffed pig, naked and tied to the headboard of the bed with a ball gag on, with welts littering his torso from the sultana's whip. She was still straddling him, sitting up straight and pawing at his wounds. It wasn't supposed to turn out like this. He was supposed to get Keilen in bed, make her a little excited, then choke her out. How their tables have turned, with Jim being the completely vulnerable one. He was no masochist. He enjoyed the simple pleasures in life, not this fetishized kink shit.

Jim made no sound, though. He would not grant her the pleasure of hearing his painful cries. He stayed as silent as possible, save for the grunts that escaped when he was whipped. Keilen was very precise; she hit him in all the sensitive places, making him bleed onto the sheets. Where did this precision come from?

"You are thinking quite loudly, James Kirk." Keilen smiled deviously, crawling over him and running a finger up his exposed throat. He glared at her, looking into her crazed eyes. "You wonder how I'm so good. But you forget that I have a kingdom full of people to ravish. Although, I must say that I prefer those at the younger end of the spectrum." She smirked, and Jim internally freaked out. She liked younger people? How young? Children? Then the realization hit him like a brick, and he became enraged.

Keilen did gross things to kids- probably the ones she was trafficking-, and he was not going to stand for it. Jim yanked his leg from its restraint with a newfound strength, and kicked the sultana off him. He was able to break one hand away as well, and struggled to free himself before Keilen pounced on him again. He shoved her off again, and broke free completely. He ripped the gag off of his face threw it at the enraged sultana. It hit her forehead with a thunk, and left a mark.

Jim grabbed the thing nearest to him, which happened to be a long jagged knife (how lucky), but Keilen hit his arm with the whip. He almost dropped the knife because of the pain, but he clenched it tight and lunged at her, tackling her to the ground. She punched him in the face, using the force to climb on top of him. He tried stabbing at her with the knife, but her Rewan physiology allowed for superior strength over him. Knowing he was fighting a losing battle, he elbowed her face and kicked her off of him.

Jim stood up and pushed Keilen against the wall, and shoved the knife straight through her hand and into the wall. She screamed as reddish orange blood sprayed from her palm, but Jim took little time in relishing his success before throwing his clothes on frantically while running to the control panel. He saw the buttons that controlled all the doors in the palace, and he pressed all of them to open and put on the lock so that they wouldn't close any time soon. He looked back at Keilen, who was still trying to rip the knife out, and ran out of the room before a second thought.

Jim hardly knew the way around, but he just kept running around corners until he slammed into somebody. It was Bones. "Bones! Thank god-"

"Jim! Where have you been, damn it?! Keilen is keeping kids as her prisoners! What happened to your face? And what's with the blood?" Bones exclaimed, and Jim frowned at him. Spock, Uhura, and Pou all joined up with them. He wanted to tackle Spock and hug him, kiss him, but he still felt dirty and guilty after being with Keilen.

"How'd you figure out about the kids?!" Jim asked, confused as hell as to how they found that out.

"Halt in the name of our Love!" A small, feminine voice said, and they all turned to see a Rewan a little taller than Pou pointing at them with a long blade.

"Another of Keilen's gems! She will kill us if we can; we are in a restricted area." Pou supplied, and the other Rewan growled.

"Pou, you traitor! I knew we should not have trusted you! Those without gender have too many conflicting hormones, mudding up your brain processes. You will die with them!" The Rewan said, and ran at them with the blade in both hands.

"I will kill them!" Jim's blood ran cold when he heard her voice. He pushed the rest of the group behind him as he stepped forward. Keilen smirked at him, knife in her good hand, while her other one dangled with blood dripping down it.

"This is my fight. You guys run and get the kids." Jim ordered, but nobody moved. The hostile Rewan gave Keilen her bigger weapon, and Jim knew he was facing his fate. The sultana chuckled menacingly.

"Oh James. Why did you have to leave right when we were getting started? You would've been a great fuck. At least I got you naked, and that was a sight to see." Keilen laughed, and Jim's blood became ice.

"Jim? You..." He heard Spock's quiet voice behind him, but Keilen started talking before he could explain.

"Enough chat! You all will die at my hand!" Keilen screamed and lunged at them with her blade, but then there was a flash, and she fell to the floor. Jim turned around slowly to see a wide-eyed Pou holding a phaser shakily.

"She... She had to die." Pou choked, almost inaudibly. Bones snatched the phaser from them, and handed it over to Spock.

"Pou, do you know what you've just done?! You killed an alien leader! This puts us at war!" Bones exclaimed, grabbing Pou by the shoulders, but they seemed to be in shock as they didn't answer. Jim looked around, but nobody else was in the room- the other Rewan had made a run for it, probably to save her life.

While Bones was busy trying to get Pou to talk, Jim tried getting Spock's attention, but the Vulcan wouldn't respond to him. Jim knew he was fucked.


	4. This is more of a Chapter 3.5 as far as story goes

Pou was beamed aboard the ship and put into the brig until Jim could get some admiralty over for a hearing. It wouldn't have ordinarily been such an issue if someone killed another of their own species while still on their home planet, but the fact that Pou used a phaser owned by Starfleet to do it made it a problem. A big problem.

On top of that, the whole crew was pissed off at Jim. He'd tried to ignore it at first, but now he snapped at anyone who sassed him. It was just pissing him off. Nobody knew the real story of what happened. Rumors were flying around the ship quicker than Andorian herpes and he was getting tired of it.

He barged into Spock's room, interrupting the Vulcan's meditation, and paced around until he was acknowledged. Spock stood and faced him, his chin up and his face expressionless. Jim stopped pacing, and looked at the man.

"Spock, you have to trust me. I was ORDERED to... to seduce her. Admiral Hann also said that under NO circumstances was I to tell anybody! I was following orders and trying to keep everybody safe, Spock. Can't you accept that?" Jim spilled out, holding his hands out defenselessly. Spock didn't answer him- he just continued to look at him. Jim sighed angrily, but then softly, "Spock. I love you so, so much. You know I would never hurt you."

"And yet, you have." Spock said finally, crossing his arms tightly. "You have seldom before followed orders so perfectly. You had every opportunity to give me some idea about what was happening on Rewan II. You had ample time to discuss with me an alternate plan to rescue the children. However, it seems that my previous hesitations on beginning our relationship because your precarious background were not unprecedented. It was quite obvious that our relationship would fail to this unfaithfulness eventually, as the odds were approximately-"

"Damn it, Spock! I know you have every reason to be hurt right now-"

"I apologize Captain, but Vulcans are incapable of feeling hurt." Spock interrupted which just about blew Jim over the edge.

"I know very well what you feel, Spock. I've seen it. I've seen it in you, and in the other Spock, and hell I've talked to your dad a couple times since we left! I know how Vulcans are, damn it, Spock! Why can't you believe me when I say I was only trying to protect you?!" Jim shouted, stepping closer to Spock, but the man remained unchanged in expression and position.

"I would have believed you," Spock said quietly, darkly, "if Dr. McCoy, Uhura, Pou and I had not made more progress saving the children with no previous information than you had by engaging in sexual relations with Keilen. I would have believed you if you had even contributed to the rescue at all- however, that was not the case."

"If I had more time-"

"If you had more time, then there would have been a 32.925 percent increase in the failure of the rescue due to the growth of security during the night."

"I opened all the doors!" Jim said, as a last resort, knowing it was really the only thing that he had managed to do to help with the rescue.

"Which would have been helpful, had Pou not been able to provide the code that opened each individual door in our path." Spock countered, and Jim was at a loss. He had kept telling himself that night to do it for the children, but he didn't even think that he might have been essentially making it more dangerous by doing so. Spock was right, as usual, and Jim had no way to redeem himself.

-

Bones finished up the last examinations of the children. Luckily, there was no evidence of rape on any of them, and they all seemed relatively healthy. Hungry, thirsty, and scared, but no diseases or anything. For that, he was quite thankful. He would have liked to examine them earlier, but Jim insisted that it was too much stress after just being pulled out of their "holding places". More like cages, in Bones' opinion, but he agreed to wait a night until checking them out.

A couple nurses escorted the last of the children to their rooms, and Leonard threw the medical tricorder onto a table. He rubbed his eyes. His hangover was killing him. He couldn't believe how much he drank at that damn feast, but he was really regretting it. Especially with Pou.

He sighed angrily and slumped onto the biobed. How could he even think about sleeping with someone underaged?! Of course, he didn't know Pou was underaged at the time, but then they told him and he still held desire for them. And he kissed them? For God's sake, he was divorced man with a kid back on Earth, and about twice as old as Pou was. To even do something even close to intimate with them... the thought churned his stomach.

He heard the doors to Sickbay open, and he slipped off the biobed. It was Spock. Christ, Bones felt bad for him. He still couldn't believe that Jim had to mack on Keilen not only in front of Spock during the feast, but also in her goddamn bedroom with no clothes on. He was a damn asshole, and Leonard almost regretted feeling so okay about Jim and Spock's relationship right from the beginning. He should've known this would happen.

Spock stood in front of him, and looked around as if to make sure nobody was listening. "Doctor, I plan on handing in my resignation. On the account that the Captain does not acquiesce, I need to know that you would sign in his place." Bones blinked at him for a while before crossing his arms.

"Look, Spock, I know he hurt you. I'm pissed too. But you can't let that get you down. You guys can't work anything out?" Bones asked, and Spock immediately shook his head.

"The Captain and I have only just discussed the happenings on Rewan II. He makes little argument on his defense." Spock explained, clasping his hands behind his back. Bones caught sight of a nurse walking past them, and waited until she was out of earshot before talking.

"I'm sorry, Spock. As pissed as I am about Jim, you're the best first officer in the fleet, and I can't let you walk off the Enterprise because of something like this. You of all people should know that you can't let personal relationships get in the way of your work." Bones said, and took a deep breath before going on. "You know I can't do anything without medical evidence that you're not fit to serve here. If you can get a recommendation from one of the counselors, then I'll sign you off. But until then, I have to keep you here. Try melding with him, Spock. Get the full story. Even I'm dying to know what REALLY happened." Spock hesitated for several seconds before nodding once and walking away. He could be angry at him if he wanted, but Bones could only do so much.

Bones walked to his office and sent a message to all the counselors. He warned them of Spock's request for a resignation signing, and told them that under no circumstances were they to send him a recommendation unless they were positive that Spock was suffering adverse effects from the situation. The Enterprise needed Spock, and Bones wasn't going to let him go easily. He saw a message from Jim, and had to take a deep, calming breath before opening it. It was a request for a private examination. He messaged his captain back with a time to come in, and left his office for some grub. All this drama made him hungry.

\--

After killing a few hours with dreaded paperwork, Jim set off for Sickbay. He really didn't want to be examined, but he knew that he needed to be. He knew Bones was still mad at him, but he was the only doctor here that he really trusted. He knew about doctor-patient confidentiality, but he just didn't trust anyone else to honor that.

He entered Sickbay, and Bones led him off to a private room. "I'll need you to strip. Make sure you ain't got any skin diseases from that succubus." Bones said bluntly, his back turned to him while he put on some gloves and got everything ready. Jim took a deep breath, and took off his clothes. It was probably one of the only times in his life where he felt absolutely uncomfortable doing so. His torso and back were littered with cuts and bruises. His wrists and ankles were heavily marked from where he had been tied down.

And it wasn't just his body that suffered. He couldn't look at some things the same way. He flinched when people made sudden moves at him. He should have been fine. He'd been through worse. But he guessed that having someone so beautiful and welcoming turn around and torture him for her own pleasure fucked him up mentally. It was as if there was no good left in the world. He almost laughed at that cynical hyperbole.

Bones turned around and froze when he saw his naked body standing in front of the biobed. Jim felt like putting his clothes back on and sprinting out of the room, and even marooning himself, but he stood there with his fists clenched at his sides. "Sit... sorry, lay on the biobed. Please." Bones said, still visibly shocked. Jim did as he was told, pain spreading through him as his back pressed against the bed, which was shown on the monitor on the wall behind him. Bones looked over the readings on the monitor, and sighed before looking down at him. "Jim... why didn't you say anything about this?" He asked quietly, gently touching some of Jim's wounds.

"I didn't want to seem like the victim..." Jim said quietly, trying not to wince when Bones touched some of his more tender wounds.

"Your pain doesn't make you THE victim, it makes you A victim. And now that I know this... Jim, have you told Spock about this? I know you're not into sadomasochism." Bones said, and Jim had to look up at him to make sure he was being serious. His glare said he was.

"No, I haven't told him. I could barely get a word in. All my arguments are shit. There's no excuse for what I did." Jim explained quietly, watching Bones patch up some of his worse wounds.

"You were just following orders. For once." Bones grumbled, working on him roughly. "Even I'm still angry about what you did, but I know now that it wasn't all sunshine and daisies for you. But we all did things on that planet that we didn't like. And damn it, Spock wrote a damn report forever ago that got your whole ship taken from you. And you forgave him for that. As much as I hate to admit it, you didn't do much wrong... In the perspective of things, I mean." Bones said, and grabbed a tricorder. "Now while I do this, how about you just tell me everything that happened that night, startin' with you and Keilen going off to that table by yourselves."

\--

After the examination was finished, Jim left Sickbay and got some dinner. It was pretty late at night, since Jim didn't really want anybody to see him going out and about everywhere. He'd like to avoid as much drama and gossip as he could. It was killing him.

He got a few looks as he sat down with a chicken salad in one of the smaller eating rooms, but he ignored them in favor of his food. He couldn't help but feel completely paranoid that everyone in the room was either looking at him or talking about him, but he kept his eyes down. If he didn't engage in eye contact, then nobody would do anything they might regret.

In any case, once things were settled a bit more and Pou and the children were gone, then he could address the gossip and make it stop. But until then, he would let it slide so that he wouldn't be pushing his limits. He would just eat his food peacefully.

Once he finished, he walked painfully back to his quarters. Not only was his body burning and aching from Keilen's "influence", he had an immense heartache that took over whenever he even thought about his quarters. The place where Spock was supposed to be, waiting for him there after a long day, and giving him comfort for all of his struggles. But now Spock was moved out, having taken all of his possessions out of Jim's quarters while he was away.

As Jim looked around the desolate room, the pain in his chest would not recede. When he got in his bed and felt no warm presence next to him, the pain only grew stronger. His eyes burned like fire, and his skin was a torturous war ground that he wanted to crawl out of, but he knew that the emptiness and aching inside of him would stay even if he did. Every time he closed his eyes to try and sleep, the events with Keilen were played over and over again like a movie reel. It was a dreaded song stuck on repeat that he couldn't get out of his head, and he wanted to drive one of Spock's traditional Vulcan blades through his heart just to make it stop.

Jim fell asleep, his only comforts being the blankets keeping him warm and the knowledge that he had a crew to protect- even if most of them hated his guts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Note: Jim isn't suicidal, he just feels like shit.


	5. More politics

The hearings for Pou stretched across a few days, with hours of discussion and trial each day. If anyone was asked, they would've said that it was a bit much given the situation. Even so, things were looking quite nice in Pou's favor; they only used their resources in order to save the majority. They argued that if Keilen hadn't have been killed on the spot, she could have killed every person on the planet with the snap of her fingers. The Federation knew as well as anyone that nobody should hold that kind of power.

Some of the blame was also put onto Bones, even though he argued that he "didn't do anything wrong, damn it, I had that phaser under accordance with regulation and it was on stun the whole time!" Then it was questioned as to how in the world Pou figured out how to change the phaser from stun to kill so quickly. Pou relayed that they had watched how Doctor McCoy handled the phaser, and since they were taught how to handle Rewan II's own weapons long ago, it wasn't that difficult to figure out.

And so on went the discussion. Admiral Quinn tried questioning Jim on Keilen's whereabouts before the killing took place, but he only gave a menacing reply that even Bones wouldn't argue with. He said, "If my orders might have slipped your mind, Admiral, then you may consult Admiral Hann on the matter. I'm sure he'll be pleased to tell you what he made me do." Quinn had the audacity to glare at the man before making a note to himself. Bones wanted to scold Jim on the dangers of pushing bureaucracy, but he held his tongue. Jim was pushing the limits of a lot of things lately, so Bones doubted that he could settle the man down.

During dinner time that night, Bones and Uhura decided to eat together. People usually seemed to forget that they were friends, since they got some weird looks sitting together at a table. Bones just glared at them, and Uhura laughed at his anger. "Don't worry about it, Leonard. This whole ship has been wracked with gossip lately- they're probably just hungry for more." She said, eating her soup while Bones angrily gripped his cheeseburger.

"Yeah, well, they should stop biting the hands that feed them." Bones grumbled before taking a large bite. Uhura tried not to laugh as she watched the doctor struggle to chew his big mouthful of food.

"Hey, it's been a while since we caught up. How's your kid doing?" Uhura asked, and Leonard swallowed down his food.

"Which one?" He asked with a laugh, and Uhura gaped at him. "You remember that mission on Capella IV? ... No, never mind. Joanna's great. Old enough to start disobeying her mother a hell of a lot, that's for sure."

"Wait, what other kid?!" Uhura exclaimed, putting down her spoon, but Bones waved his hand in dismissal.

"Hey, don't worry about it. It might not be true in this timeline anyway." He said, and Uhura nodded. She could deal with that. "How's Scotty?"

"God, don't tell me you've been listening in on the gossip too! I'm not with Scotty! He's with someone else." She smiled and wiggled her eyebrows, and Bones gaped at her.

"What? Who?" He asked, but she laughed and shook her head. "Nyota. Spill it." He demanded, and she sighed.

"Fine, geez. He's with Chekov."

"... Isn't Chekov 23? How old is Scotty? That's quite the age difference isn't it?" Bones asked, appalled. Of course, he was no excuse, given his actions with Pou on Rewan II. But he didn't talk about that.

"Yeah, but you should see them together. Scotty is so respectful to him that it almost hurts, and besides, I feel like they were made for each other. They're both amazing with engineering and great at physics. I think they're working on a new equation for the shields. They say it'll revolutionize combat or something." She said, and Bones nodded.

"Wow. I mean, I guess if they're happy, and if Scotty can actually respect the kid..." Bones said as he glared at the internals of his burger. Uhura laughed.

"Trust me, you don't need to worry about anything." Uhura said, still smiling. Bones only grunted in reply.

He changed the subject over to the recent happenings in Uhura's life, although it didn't seem like too much was new. No love interests, no new friends, no recent discoveries in linguistics. Seems like all was boring with their lives until you counted the Rewan II situation. They avoided talking about that, though, since neither of them enjoyed the politics these days.

-

Jim had been trying to get Spock to talk to him for days, but the Vulcan was so damn stubborn that Jim couldn't get any words in unless they were work related. And damn it, Jim was losing it. He couldn't sleep because of the endless nightmares of Keilen cutting him with her knife or whipping him with her thin, hard whip. He could still feel the restraints around his wrists and ankles, keeping him from moving and cutting into his skin. The nightmares only got worse and worse, to the point where instead of the pain stemming from a fetish from Keilen, it came from Spock beating the shit out of him while he laid there defenseless.

After showering one morning and looking in the mirror, he knew he looked like a dead raccoon left on the side of the road for four days. The bags under his eyes wouldn't go away and his skin was colorless. He looked dead. He felt dead. He hadn't been sleeping great because of the nightmares. He tried to sleep as little as possible, opting instead to work on any paperwork he had. But when there wasn't any more, he'd look on the World Wide Web for the latest news and discoveries across the Federation planets. Lack of sleep, duty shifts, and Pou's hearings were all kicking his ass.

So when he woke up in Sickbay, it wasn't much of a surprise to him. He blinked away the stress of light on his eyes and rubbed the soreness from them before sitting up. There was a cup of water on a table next to the biobed where he was sitting, and Bones approached him as he started drinking on it.

"'Bout time you woke up. Been about seven hours. Of course I had to give you a hypo to help you achieve a deeper sleep, but still. Are you okay?" Bones drabbled on, and Jim sighed and put the water down. His body still ached from exhaustion, and his eyelids were eternally heavy.

"I'm fine, Bones. Just not sleeping well." Jim said quietly, and moved to get out of bed, but Bones out a hand on his chest to keep him down.

"Nuh uh, you're stayin' here tonight. I'll release you in the morning once you've gotten sufficient rest. It's 13:22 right now, so I'll go get us some salad for lunch." He said, and Jim groaned in protest. Bones started to walk off, but stopped and turned around. "And don't even think about tryin' to escape. I've already alerted the nurses and nearby security that you're not to leave Sickbay. They'll strap you down if they have to." Bones turned away and walked out after that, and Jim almost felt like he was going to throw up at the thought of being strapped down again. His stomach made an unhappy noise, so he downed some more water.

Bones returned several minutes later with two plates of salad. Jim wasn't too much of a fan of vegetables, but he made himself eat for Bones' sake. The good doctor pulled up a chair next to his bed and ate with him. "How have things been here? No complications with any of the kids or anything?" Jim asked, and Bones shook his head while chewing his food.

"No, surprisingly they're all in good shape. Took a bit to get them calmed down and hydrated and whatnot, but it's fine now. Some of the nurses and I check in on them throughout the day. They seem to be enjoying their stay on the ship." Bones explained, and Jim exhaled a small breath of relief. That was good, at least. "Hey, Jim, that actually brings me to a request. These kids- most of them are about 9 to 13 years old, so they're all curious and eager to learn. I say you should give them access to more of the ship, you know? For learning purposes."

"They'll have to know that they can't go to certain decks. Like the brig, Bridge, or some parts of Engineering." Jim said, although he was quite on board with the idea. If the kids could actually get something good out of all of this, then that would be a great victory among all this muddy stuff.

"Yeah, of course. And they should travel in... pairs? Threes?" Bones asked, and Jim shrugged.

"I'd say pairs. Less room for arguments on where to go, and the less social ones only need one person to deal with. They could travel with more people, if they wanted, but at least pairs." Jim said, knowing that he didn't need a bunch of angry kids arguing because Billy over there didn't want to visit that particular observation deck. "And they would need a curfew." He added, for extra measure. Bones was quick to agree.

"Definitely. How about I write it all up, check with Chief of Security, and then send it to you for confirmation?" Bones suggested, and Jim nodded, taking a bite of his salad. Yum, the tasteless joy of spinach.

"Yes, please. I need the extra work." He said gratefully, but Bones raised a skeptical brow at him.

"Are you being sarcastic?" He asked, and Jim shook his head no. "You never want more work."

"It keeps me busy, so I enjoy it." Jim shrugged, jabbing some lettuce with his fork and shoving it into his mouth.

"Is that why you haven't been sleeping much?" Bones asked, looking him in the eyes with an intimidatingly serious demeanor. Jim hesitated to answer, but he knew he couldn't avoid it since he was going to be staying there all night.

"Well... I've been avoiding sleep a lot lately because every time I do sleep, I get a nightmare. So in order to keep myself occupied and awake, I work. And I've been running out of work lately, so I'm happy for more." Jim explained, and Bones sighed.

"Jim, you know as well as I do that avoiding something doesn't magically cure the situation." He said with a glare, and Jim knew that he wasn't just talking about the sleep. Bones was referring to his relationship with Spock as well. Or lack of relationship, really. It was Jim's turn to sigh. "It's good that you're actually doing your work, Jim, but you also need to be thinking about your health. Try to at least get about seven and a half hours of sleep, okay? Ideally eight, but if you get a little under that, then I'll be happy. Alright?"

"Okay, Bones." Jim said quietly, even though there was a pretty slim chance that he'd actually get that much sleep. Bones finished his salad and stood up, ruffling Jim's hair.

"Good. Oh, and if you do need more work, then I'll send some requests for updated medical instruments that I've been putting off sending to you for a while. And I'll check in with the Chief of Security while discussing the kids and see if she has anything that she wants to broach to you." Bones said, and Jim nodded gratefully. "Oh, and I should be seeing Scotty during dinner tonight, so I'll ask him if he has anything. But for now, I have my own work to do. I'll see you later." He added, before walking off to see other patients. 

Jim sighed and watched him go. Bones seemed to be nicer to him after he saw what all Keilen had done. Jim didn't know whether to feel grateful or angry about that. Grateful because he had his best friend back, or angry because it took him seeing him in pain before accepting him. Oh well. He'd take what he could get.

A lovely dark skinned nurse handed him a PADD with a smile, and walked off. He looked at it. It seemed to have all the functions that a PC did- ''Web access, computer data, all the works. He logged on to the Captain's account, and saw a few new messages from both Bones and a few others. He set off to work, still grateful for his best friend and doctor.

\--

Bones got his reply from the C.o. Security pretty quickly, to his relief, and all seemed well. She tried getting him to change the evening curfew to something earlier, but he wouldn't agree to it. 20:00 was already early enough, in his opinion. The less time they spent cooped up in their rooms, the better. He relayed it all to the Captain, and sat back in his chair.

Spock appeared in his office, and sat across from him at his desk. Boned leaned forward and sighed. "You know how much I LOVE being the middle man, but don't you think it's about time that you and Jim actually talked it out face to face? Or more preferably, mind to mind? Seriously, Spock, you guys need to-"

"I apologize Doctor, but you seem to have misread the situation." Spock said, and Bones was about to be relieved, thinking that Spock and Jim might have actually already talked. "I am here to inform you that none of the counselors will recommend my leave, so I am no longer considering a resignation." Bones exhaled irritably, since that wasn't was he was hoping to hear, but it was still good to know that Spock wouldn't be leaving.

"So you're not even going to ask Jim to sign off?" Bones asked, and the Vulcan shook his head. "Good. I'm glad that you're going to stay. And I'm glad that you want to stay. But don't you think that you might just want to slip your sensitive fingers onto Jim's face for a bit of mind sharing voodoo? Just for old time's sake?"

"Doctor McCoy, I will remind you that I have no desire to recount the happenings on Rewan II if I have the choice. I believe I know enough of the story to have sufficient judgement on the matter." Spock said, and Bones could tell he was getting a bit irked, but he didn't care damn it.

"Good god, man, you don't know the half of it! You don't know that she-"

"I will have no more of, McCoy." Spock interrupted, and stood up abruptly.

"Listen, Spock! He's-"

"Have a good night, Doctor. I shall see you at the hearing tomorrow." Spock interrupted him again, and left the room. Bones growled and slammed his fist into the table. Now he knew why Jim couldn't get any words in with the Vulcan. The damned hobgoblin wouldn't even listen to anything anybody said when they talked about Rewan II, except for the goddamn admiralty.

Bones sighed angrily, but then froze. The admiralty!!!

\--

Jim woke up shouting, and sat bolt upright in the bed. Sweat was beading on his forehead, but he was shivering with coldness. Suddenly someone was there, and Jim slapped them away, but they jabbed him with a hypo. A wave of calm overcame him, and he sank down into the bed, breathing deeply.

"Captain, are you alright? I heard you shouting." Jim looked up at the man, and saw in the dimmed light that it was Doctor M'Benga. He breathed out a sigh of relief that it was someone he knew, and nodded.

"Yes, I'm fine, thank you. Just a bad dream." Jim said quietly, wiping the moisture from his face and covering himself with more blankets. M'Benga nodded.

"Do you need more blankets?" He asked, and Jim shook his head. "Alright. I've refilled your water, and your PADD is right next to it. If you need anything, don't hesitate to call for me."

"Thank you, M'Benga." Jim replied, and the doctor walked away. He turned onto his side, and grabbed the PADD. He wagered that he'd have quite a bit of trouble after having dream Spock trying to kill him with Keilen's blade. He shivered again. There was work to be done.

\--

Pou was found innocent by Starfleet. Their home planet's laws allowed tyrannical behavior by tradition, so the use of the Starfleet issued phaser was bypassed as a situational inconvenience that would not have changed the outcome. Evidently if another weapon found on the planet could have done the same job as the phaser, then it was deemed appropriate for the situations to be treated the same. Jim didn't know why it took so damn long for everybody to figure that out, but he was glad that it turned out that way.

Also, as it turned out, Pou was by Rewan rite the new leader of Rewan II. Turns out that their hierarchy worked like many others in the sense that killing someone above you granted you their rank. At such a young age, it was a bit shocking that Pou would agree to the leadership, but Jim was nonetheless happy for them. They promised a more fair and peaceful life for those on Rewan II, as well as a very strong bond with the Federation. Nobody was to argue.

Pou left the room first, but before anyone else could leave, Admiral Quinn spoke up. "There is another manner of business that needs to be discussed about this mission. It was brought forth today that there is more information regarding the becoming of this mission and the actions taken during it that was not revealed during Pou's trial. Since it is of another nature and not inclusive to Pou, they will not be involved in this section of the hearing. However, I ask all of you to remain, and I will establish communication with Admiral Hann in order to begin."

Jim went cold, and shook in his seat. He knew that this was about him. But who could have given Quinn any information? Only Bones knew. He looked over at the doctor, who nodded at him with a stern face. This turned Jim's blood to ice. Spock and Uhura were also there, as well as a couple security officers. They didn't need to know what happened. They didn't need to know what he went through.

Hann's face appeared on one of the large viewing screens in the room, and Quinn called the meeting to begin. He also called Jim forward, where he stood and relayed his name and title for the record. Hann was to do the same.

"What is this about, Quinn?" Hann asked once he was done introducing himself, but Quinn shushed him.

"Captain Kirk, would you please tell us, with as much detail as possible, what was discussed during your communications with Admiral Hann prior to your mission on Rewan II?" Admiral Quinn said, and Jim's breath halted in his chest. He looked up at Hann, who's face became pinched with anger.

"Yes, Admiral." Jim said, and took a deep breath. He wanted to look back at Bones for comfort, but he knew that he was sitting next to Spock, and he didn't want to look at his former partner. He'd probably break apart on the spot if he did that.

"Captain Kirk?" Admiral Quinn prodded, and Jim snapped back into the task at hand.

"Yes, I apologize, sir." Jim said, looking up at Quinn and avoiding Hann's steeling gaze. "Upon establishing communication with Hann in my ready room, he informed me of Starfleet's discovery of Keilen's business with child trafficking. Because of this, he told me that I was to gain Keilen's favor no matter the personal cost. When I asked about what he was referring to by personal cost, he demanded that I seduce her because it was the only way that I might breach her security and play her at her own game." Admiral Quinn held up a hand for him to stop, and turned to the screen where Hann was.

"Is all of this true, Admiral Hann?" He asked, and Hann's face was almost red with anger.

"Yes, but-"

"Please continue then, Kirk." Quinn said, clearly wanting none of Hann's arguments. Jim swallowed hard before continuing.

"When I attempted to remind him of my serious relationship, Hann interrupted me and said that my personal life was nothing compared to the mission-"

"I said no such thing!" Hann interrupted, grinding Jim's nerves.

"Then allow me to rephrase!" Jim demanded with clenched teeth, scowling up at his enemy. "He said, and I quote, 'The importance of this mission precedes your personal interests, Captain Kirk.'" He paused, waiting for another objection. When there were none, he continued. "Hann then went on to acknowledge the presence of video and audio recordings within the ship before explaining that I was not to mention our discussion with anyone. He said that if I were to say anything about our discussion, then there would be consequences to both me and my crew."

"Is this true, Admiral Hann?" Quinn asked, looking over at the other admiral.

"Now hold on-"

"You do know that if you object to the truth of Kirk's words, then we will have to consult the video and audio recordings from that day to find out the facts? If you are to be found lying, then your punishments would be magnified if not procured." Quinn explained, and Hann sighed irritably.

"Yes, Quinn, I am aware of that. What Kirk says is true." Hann gave in, and Quinn nodded.

"Please continue, Kirk." He said, writing some things down, and Jim took another deep breath before continuing.

"I asked Hann why this all had to be kept a secret, and he said that the Rewans would be able to tell if anyone knew about any of this. He said that they would be in danger if the Rewans found out that they knew of our desire to bring Keilen to justice. He said that my crew would be tortured." Jim had to pause then, close his eyes, and take a breath. When he opened his eyes, Quinn was still looking at him expectantly. "I told Hann of my certainty that Spock, my romantic partner and First Officer, would be able to ward off any verbal or mental implications of what was discussed. Meaning, I knew that he would keep quiet if I were to tell him about Keilen's child trafficking and the plan to overthrow her. I hoped that with his input, another route to justice could be made. Hann then proceeded to insult Spock in a xenophobic manner, and demanded that I keep myself in silence."

"Is all of this true, Admiral Hann?" Quinn asked once again, and Hann grumbled out an affirmative with an angered head nod. Jim didn't dare alter his gaze from Quinn, in fear that he might look at Hann and explode, or look at Spock and shut down. Quinn turned back to him. "I am aware that you and Keilen ventured off to a private area early on in the feast that took place within her palace. Will you relay the events which took place upon your leave together?" Jim swallowed down his stomach again, and had to take a deep breath to calm himself. He felt so embarrassed. So vulnerable. He felt like an absolute idiot for actually admitting and discussing all of this. But he couldn't refuse, and he had to go on.

"Keilen led me to her bedroom. I was aware of a control panel on one of the walls, but she pushed me onto her bed before I could take any action to it. I had presumed, due to her confession earlier that Rewans often became mentally and physically overwhelmed by their passion, that I could make short work of the situation. However, as soon as I thought that I was gaining the upper hand, she announced that I had become her..." Jim hesitated, feeling so small because of what he had to admit. "Her 'prisoner.'" He stopped, not wanting to go further.

"And what happened after this, Kirk?" Quinn asked, his tone a bit softer than before, but still ringing with authority.

"She tied me up, cut me, bruised me, burned me, whipped me... called me names and humiliated me. I'm sorry, but I am not willing to go into more detail than that." Jim got out, breaking eye contact with Quinn and looking to the floor. Even now he still felt the effects of Keilen's taunts ringing in his ears and cutting into his skin.

"Is there evidence for this claim?" Quinn asked, and before Jim could spit out a reply, he hard Bones stand and answer.

"Quite sufficient evidence, Admiral. I saw as much during his private medical examination with me." Bones said, and he was almost grateful that he answered so that Jim didn't have to.

"And it is not possible that he could have done such damage to himself?" Quinn said, addressing Bones, and Jim had to bite his tongue to not snap at him.

"I am one hundred percent positive that no mentally stable human being could have done this to their own body. So no, there is no damn way that Jim could have hurt himself in such a manner on purpose, and there is no chance that the precision of the wounds could have been done on accident." Bones ground out, and Jim heard him sit.

"Thank you, Doctor McCoy. This hearing will be in recess until tomorrow at 17:00 hours. Do not discuss the hearing outside of this room. You all are dismissed." Quinn announced, and Jim left the room quicker than a cat would escape a wet dog.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haven't been seeing much of Spock, eh? That will change by next chapter.


	6. Meld?

Jim laid in his bed, back aching and head throbbing. It was the same night that Quinn asked him to begin talking about Hann and Keilen. He tried his damn best to sleep, but he had such a rigorously horrifying nightmare that he fell off the bed and hit his head against the wall trying to get up. He breathed deeply, not bothering to pick the blankets up from the floor. Or his pillow.

Jim wondered why he'd been having such dreams, or why the thing with Keilen was in his mind so often. Maybe it was not only because she made him become completely helpless and hurt him physically and emotionally, but also because it led to the demise of his and Spock's relationship. Other than becoming the captain of the Enterprise, forming a relationship with Spock was probably the best thing that ever happened to him. He was his First Officer and one of his greatest friends. They worked so well together. Their relationship was fantastic.

But then it all went to shit. It didn't go to shit because he was enjoying himself like most other breakups, it went to shit while he was getting tortured.

He rolled over. He couldn't keep thinking about it. He needed to sleep. But obviously that wasn't going to be an option, so he got up and went to his desk. No rest for the weary, so he might as well work. Work, work, work.

-

"Doctor, I suggest that you order the captain to take a short leave from duty." Bones snorted and shook his head, snapping his old book shut and looking up at the Vulcan standing in front of his desk. Bones pushed the book to the side. It was one that he read often, since he'd had it since he was a child. There weren't many paper books these days, but he appreciated the nostalgic satisfaction that it granted him. But back to the task at hand.

"Why? Is he not performing his duties as captain efficiently?" He asked, leaning back in his chair and putting his hands behind his head. He raised his eyebrows at Spock, waiting smugly for his reply.

"... Not precisely, however I believe that his state of health could lead to a possibility of malpractice." Spock said, and Bones shook his head.

"You know regulation, Spock. Can't get someone off their job unless they misbehave. You know, you've been pushing the limits of regulation quite a bit lately. Why?" He asked, still feeling smug. It wasn't every day that Spock came and asked HIM for something that wasn't too directly related to work. It was obvious that he still cared about Jim.

"I have been beginning to question the influence of bureaucratic authority as of late." Spock said after a moment of hesitation. Bones gestured for him to sit down, and he did, folding his hands on top of the desk.

"I see where you're coming from. As for me, I've always been a member of the whole not-following-the-rules-when-I-don't-feel-like-it club. Me and Scotty, really." He said, remembering the many, many times that Scotty didn't give a damn about what anyone told him to do while he was in command of the ship. In fact, Jim used to be part of that club too... What changed?

"This is beside the point, Doctor." Spock said primly, and Bones sighed. He was just about to ask 'Then what in the hell do you want me to do with him?!' But then Spock spoke. "He has been completing much more work than usual, and has not been sleeping- which is evident by merely looking at his face."

"What I'm hearing, Spock, is that you still care pretty deeply for Jim." Bones said with a smirk.

"Of course I do. He is my captain." Spock said, and something in the old doctor immediately snapped. He slammed his fist against the desk and stood up, leaning over it so that he towered over the other man.

"Listen, you green blooded hobgoblin," Bones growled through clenched teeth, "stop acting like you never felt anything for Jim. I know you loved him. You probably still do. You're just hurt, and I understand that it'll take time to get over it. Just talk to him already, damn it! Or will I have to prescribe you both bedrest in one private room with a mandatory mind meld on the side?"

Spock stood, causing Bones to back off a bit. "Thank you for your time, Doctor." He said with a nod, and walked out. Bones sighed and plopped back down into his chair. Maybe he was a bit too hard on Spock. He was, after all, dealing with some harsh emotions at that time. But he was a doctor, not a marriage counselor. They could work it out themselves.

Speaking of counselors, he wondered if he should recommend that Jim go visit one. But he knew how much the kid hated sharing his issues with other people- especially if he wouldn't even talk about it with any of his friends. Bones then wondered if any of Jim's friends had even been talking to him lately. He knew that people were pissed off at him, but they had to get over it at some point. Especially considering that Jim was a bit fucked up because of all that happened.

\--

"We will resume where we left off yesterday." Quinn said from the dais where he usually sat. Jim stood in the middle of the room, a bit calmer than the day before, but still irked and nervous about having to talk about all of this. Hann wasn't present, since he was in an 'important meeting' at the time. "Kirk, you obviously managed to escape from Keilen. How?"

"I, uh..." Jim hesitated, wondering how to word his next sentence without it sounding strange. "I was reminded by her the main reason for the mission, and I became angry. I was able to overpower her and escape my restraints. I managed to keep her in one place, stuck there while I went to the control panel in her room and opened all of the doors. Then I ran."

"Where you then encountered the rest of your landing party, with Pou included." Quinn supplied, and Jim nodded.

"Yes, sir, unfortunately." Jim said, then immediately regretted saying that. Quinn raised an eyebrow.

"'Unfortunately?' What do you mean?" He asked. Jim clenched and unclenched his jaw.

"Well, honestly, sir..." Jim hesitated, feeling conflicted. "It... proves that my following Hann's orders were for naught, considering that the landing party could have handled the situation on their own. It is evident that I was not even needed for that aspect of the mission." Quinn stared at him for a while, but then Jim heard a voice behind him.

"Now wait just a damn minute, Jim." He heard Bones say behind him, but he couldn't bear it to look back. "Don't you dare question your importance. If it wasn't for you, Keilen would have been there to order the whole kingdom against us before we could take two steps towards the kids!"

"Thank you, Doctor McCoy." Quinn said, interrupting Bones before he could get even more fired up. He turned back to Jim. "Kirk, what confuses me is why you agreed to go through with Hann's orders in the first place. Pardon my honesty, but you haven't really been one to take your orders without conflict."

"He threatened my crew, Admiral. And he threatened me. I couldn't let anything happen to them." Jim said, swallowing down the building apprehension.

"There's something else, though, isn't there? I recall that you violated orders for a mission on the planet Le-Wona several months ago that resulted in the deaths of three members of your landing party. Did that in any way influence your decision for this-"

"Admiral I question the relevance that-"

"Captain Kirk will respond to me without your input, Doctor McCoy. Now I recommend that you stop speaking out or else I will have you removed from the room." Quinn said, talking over Bones. Even though Jim appreciated his friend's support, he got gooseflesh thinking of the case so long ago, and what ensued after it... "Kirk, I ask again. Did the results of the mission on Le-Wona influence your decision on whether to follow the orders that Admiral Hann provided on your most previous mission?"

"... Yes, Admiral." Jim replied quietly, his breath caught in his throat.

"Why? We all know that not everybody can be safe in space. You made a decision that you thought was best to save the majority." Quinn asked, and Jim mentally cursed the man's persistence.

"My own life was also on the line, sir." Jim said, and hesitated again before continuing. "I had gotten into an argument with... one of my most respected officers, and they had demanded that I follow orders to a T from then on in order to reduce the losses of the lives of our crew."

"'Our' crew, Captain?" Quinn asked, raising a brow, and Jim cursed himself for that slip up.

"My crew, Admiral." He corrected, and Quinn nodded.

"I will discuss all of this with with my colleagues, and we will notify you as soon as we come to a decision. Thank you, you are all dismissed." Quinn said, nodding at them, and Jim exhaled a breath of relief that there were no more questions. He hated all of this.

He filed out of the room with everyone else, Bones sticking behind to walk with him. Neither of them talked, but the company was nice. It helped Jim not to feel so unbelievably fucking alone in the world.

\--

As soon as Jim closed his eyes, he was laying in a pit of fire, held down by hot metal clamped around his wrists and ankles. He tried calling for help, but nobody came, until a dark form appeared. It was Spock. He stood above Jim, his foot pressing down on his chest so that he couldn't breathe.

"You betrayed me. Now you will pay." The shadowy Spock said, pressing down on his chest harder. The fires burned higher and hotter around him, until he felt like he was drowning in liquid flames.

"Spock..." He tried to cough out, but the shadow only knelt down and started choking him, much like Spock did on the Bridge during their very first mission together.

"You hurt me. I will hurt you, Captain." The shadow growled, and Jim's vision went completely red.

Jim sat up in bed, sucking in deep breaths of air. His hands wrapped around his wrists, and he could still feel the restraints there. He started coughing suddenly, but the coughs turned into sobs. Tears streamed down his face without his control. He felt like such a vulnerable idiot, crying over a goddamn dream.

He got his breathing settled down, but the tears wouldn't stop coming. He felt so dirty, like ashes from that hellfire was plastered onto him. He needed a shower. He didn't give a damn that it was 2:38 in the morning, he needed to be clean.

He pulled the blanket off of him, revealing his bare, scarred torso and black pajama pants. He was far too hot to pull a shirt on without wanting to rip it off again. He walked shakily to the bathroom, and opened the door.

Spock was there, standing in front of the sink, and Jim stopped cold when he saw him. Spock turned to him, looking his body up and down. Jim immediately turned away, wiping the tears from his face and saying, "I'm sorry, I'll come back later."

"Jim." Spock said, and Jim stopped halfway out the door. He looked over at Spock, who gestured for him to come closer. "During the hearing yesterday afternoon... you mentioned our argument after Le-Wona. It was my fault that you agreed to Hann's terms. It was my fault that you were hurt..." He looked down at Jim's chest and stomach, but Jim shook his head.

"No, Spock, I did it by my own free will. I just wanted to do what was right..." He said quietly, shaking his head. "It was my faul-"

"Meld with me." Spock said abruptly, and Jim's eyebrows knitted together. He was shocked that the Vulcan was even talking to him, but blaming himself and then requesting a mind meld? He nodded slowly, and Spock brought his hands to his face.

He recounted all his memories of the mission, everything he was feeling, all that he was thinking. His dreams, his talks with Bones, his working for hours on end. But when he couldn't stop thinking about the nightmares, Spock pulled away.

"I apologize, the emotional transference..." Spock whispered, backing up and leaning against the wall. He brought a hand up just under his tear duct, and then pulled his fingers away, looking at them strangely.

"Spock, I'm so sorry-" Jim tried saying, but Spock held up a hand to stop him.

"I will... Goodnight, Jim." Spock said quietly, and left through his door. Jim took a deep breath, and turned on the shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter made sense. I wrote it with a tired, worn out mind while also watching House. I also didn't feel like going through and editing.
> 
> Next chapter will feature: Pou!, the decision about Hann and his orders, and Spock's thoughts about the situation. Oh, and Scotty and Chekov.
> 
> How do y'all feel about Leonard being the main confidant with Spock? And Scotty and Pavel, whoa, that's weird.


	7. Bones is a miracle worker (there is no such thing as miracles)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Internally feelsy Spock, some cussing, some violence, and some really poorly written accents. Oh, and sorry it's such a short chapter! 
> 
> (Notes about Star Trek Beyond at the end.)

Spock was a bit stressed out. It had been a couple days since he had melded with Jim, and he had made no efforts to talk to the man since. His mind was filled with so many contradicting things. He initially felt (although he would deny as such if anybody asked) hurt and angry that Jim would engage in relations with Keilen while their relationship was still active. The one reason as to why Spock was hesitant to even begin a relationship with Jim was because of the man's past promiscuity. He had promised Spock that he would stay faithful, for all that time, but then he went and slept with Keilen.

Then during Admiral Hann's hearing, Spock had realized that Jim was given little choice when ordered to seduce the sultana. Jim admitted to being physically hurt by her, and Spock felt a possessive sympathy for him. He still cared for Jim, and it pained him to see him hurting. Hearing later that Jim had accepted the orders not only to protect his crew, but because of his and Spock's argument long ago... It almost ripped Spock's mind apart.

He had been so occupied by the fact that Jim had betrayed him, had followed malicious orders, had made the bad decision- but knowing then that Jim had done it all BECAUSE of Spock and not against him just caused the Vulcan so much internal grief. Grief, guilt, and anger.

Spock spent the whole evening meditating after that hearing. He pushed the emotions out, conquering them and banishing them from his thoughts. When he was having trouble concentrating, he went to the bathroom to splash his face, but Jim had shown up there 4.93 seconds after him.

When Spock saw the marks on Jim's skin, he had to struggle internally to not order the ship to switch to full speed towards Rewan II so that he could beat Keilen's dead body into the ground so that she was only a pulp. But he steeled his face, and melded with Jim. He didn't know why or how he had come to the conclusion that he should meld with the man, but he did. And he almost regretted it as soon as he saw Jim's mind. He showed Spock the events of what happened and what he was feeling, but Spock was also able to push in farther, feeling every single little thing that Jim had been feeling. It was incredibly invasive, and he should not have done it. But he did.

He almost showed emotion afterwards. He had to escape. When he left the bathroom, he meditated until his shift. For the next two days he had spent the entirety of his free time meditating. It was hardly fruitful. Spock wondered if he really should have gone through the process of kolinahr when he had the chance, so that he wouldn't feel all of these things. The pent up emotions kept resurfacing every single time he pushed them down. Spock felt like a coward.

-

"An' you would NOT believe his face when he realized that it would work!" Scotty laughed, patting an embarrassed Chekov on the shoulder and mimicking a face of shocked surprise. "Of course I was a wee bit jealous that he figured it before I did. Prodigious bastard!"

"Be careful Scotty, or I might have to replace you with Chekov again if he keeps performing like that." Jim joked, stabbing a piece of steak with his fork. The others around the table chuckled, and Jim felt some relief. It was almost back to the good old times.

Bones, Uhura, Sulu, Scotty, and Chekov were all sitting with him at the table for dinner, which was something that hadn't taken place ever since the thing on Rewan II. It was Jim's impression that since Bones and Uhura heard what actually happened with Hann and Keilen, they'd been trying to set the rest of the crew straight. He was so unbelievably thankful for that, and he made a mental note to thank the both of them in private next time he could.

"You vould hev discowered it before me if you veren't too occupied weeth Keenser!" Chekov exclaimed with a blush, and Scotty gaped at him.

"You know I can't just let him climb around on all mah stuff!" Scotty retorted, then moved his hand to rub Chekov's back. "D'you want to take a walk later?" Chekov nodded with a small smile, and Scotty grinned. Jim eyed them. He was a little concerned when they came to him to inform him of their relationship so long ago, but they seemed to be doing well. There was very little PDA, they almost never got into fights, and they worked together flawlessly.

Almost like how he and Spock used to be.

Jim swallowed down his remorse and shoved some steak in his mouth to replace it. This was a happy time. Scotty and Chekov joked with each other, Uhura and Sulu chatted about the latter's newest discovery on some strand of flora, and Bones sat quietly next to Jim. The doctor actually seemed to have been quite quiet as of late.

"Hey Bones... How's it going?" Jim asked, not knowing how else to question the man's feelings. Bones shrugged.

"It's alright." He answered, and Jim tried not to sigh. 'Alright' was hardly an answer. As if sensing his anger about the lack of elaboration, Bones added quietly, "Pou came to talk to me."

"I actually forgot that they were still on the ship. We're almost to Rewan II again, though, so they only have about a day left here." Jim said, taking a drink of his water, and Bones sighed.

"Yeah. I know. They wanted me to go with them." He grumbled, and Jim choked on his water. The others looked at him in confusion, but he just waved a dismissive hand at them, and they went back to their individual conversations.

"They what?! You're not, right? You have to stay here. You have duties-"

"Relax, Jim, I'm not going. It's just that... I feel bad." Bones muttered, and Jim had to lean in to hear him clearly. "They said that they love me. Had to turn them down. It was brutal."

"Holy shit... how did that even happen?" Jim asked, frowning at his friend.

"The night of the feast, I got drunk off my ass, and..." Bones looked around to make sure nobody else was listening before saying, "I kissed them. But I was drunk as hell. They're seventeen, damn it. A goddamn kid. They could be MY kid for chrissake."

"God, Bones... You really pushed that limit there." Jim said quietly, putting a hand on the man's shoulder. "You could be arrested. Why would you tell me this?"

"I don't know, Jim. Probably because you're my friend and I wanted to confide in someone." Bones spat, shrugging away from Jim's hand.

"Hey. I'm not spilling anything, okay? I'm fucking done doing everything that I'm supposed to do. If I think that it's the right thing to do from now on, I'm going to do it. And turning you in... that's the wrong thing. They're in love with you. There's no abuse there." Jim whispered, and wrapped an arm around his friend. Bones leaned against him slightly.

"Thanks, Jim." Bones smiled a little, and moved his hand to pat Jim's chest, but Jim flinched away from him quickly. Bones' smile disappeared.

"Sorry. I'm going to go." Jim said frantically, standing from the table abruptly and walking out of the room. Bones stared after him.

"Vhat heppened?" Chekov asked with concern, but Bones shook his head.

"I'm gonna find out." He said, and ran after Jim.

\--

"Damn it Jim, I'm a doctor not a mind reader!" Bones said loudly, throwing his hands up in the air. They were in Jim's quarters, and the man wouldn't talk to him. "Is it because of her?"

"Fuck, Bones, probably!" Jim retorted, sitting down roughly on his bed. Bones stood in front of him and crossed his arms. "Look. I don't know. It just kind of freaks me out when people touch me now, okay? I can touch other people, but as soon as someone makes a move towards me, I just..."

"I'm assigning you to Counselor Joy. She specializes in-"

"I don't give a damn what she specializes in, Bones! I'll be fine without a goddamn counselor. I just need a little bit of time. Maybe it's because some of my cuts still hurt." Jim explained, and Bones sighed again.

"That's the thing, Jim. They shouldn't still be hurting that bad. Maybe a little pain, but you should be fine by now. This isn't the Dark Ages. Medicine's gone a long way." Bones said quietly, and Jim frowned up at him.

"I'm still not seeing a counselor." He decided, and Bones growled and rolled his eyes.

"For God's sake Jim, just listen to me! I'm your doctor, I know what's best for your sanity!" Bones said, but Jim stood up and threw his hands up angrily.

"I don't give a shit about what's best for me, damn it! I'm not going to talk about what happened back there anymore! I'm tired of thinking about it and I'm fed up with people trying to pry it out of me!" Jim yelled, pushing Bones away from him.

"Listen to me, damn it! You're not going to get better if you keep refusing to let anyone help you!" Bones yelled back, pushing Jim with equal force. "You need a goddamn outlet! Or are you going to revert to how you were before you even became a captain?! A good for nothing little fucking cornfed prick that was worth nothing more than the dirt on his feet!"

Jim's fist connected with Bones' face, causing the doctor to stumble backwards before jumping and tackling him to the floor. He held Jim down, shouting at him. "You're the best goddamn captain that I've ever met, Jim! You're a great friend and an amazing person. You care, and you give all that you are so that others can be happy. You're so generous, and everybody here loves you to death." Jim blinked up at him, breathing hard. Bones got off him, helped him up, and pulled him into a hug. "And don't you ever forget it." He whispered, and then he was gone from the room.

He smirked on his way out, which shot pain around his split lip, but he still felt pretty great.

\--

It took a while for Jim to settle down and finish being absolutely pissed at Bones' completely bipolar attitude, but when he was calmed down, he sprawled out on his bed and closed his eyes. His argument with Bones seemed to have drained him, and coupled with his ongoing exhaustion, it wasn't long before he fell asleep.

The nightmare started as they always did. He was cuffed to a wall this time, his wrists burning as the metal cuffs dug into them. He was sweaty and dirty. A form appeared, morphing into the image of Keilen, and Jim grunted as he tried to free himself from his restraints. Keilen smiled her devilish smile, and pushed at Jim's chest painfully.

Jim looked up at her in fear, feeling shocked and betrayed. She opened her mouth to talk, her voice coming out in whispers. "You're... an amazing person." She said, stroking his face. He frowned at her, expecting her to turn around and lash him like she always had before. "Everybody... loves you. You're... generous... a great friend." She then looked worried, and ripped the cuffs off Jim's wrists. She patted his cheek gently. "Don't... forget..." She smiled, and then it all disappeared.

Jim awoke with a gasp, and immediately started touching his wrists like he always did after a nightmare. But then he thought... Was it a nightmare? She let him go. She didn't do anything to him. She just whispered those words. 

The words that Bones said while he was holding him down.

Jim choked on his own breath, and sobbed into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I watched an interview with Chris Pine (Jim), Karl Urban (Bones), and Zachary Quinto (Spock) where they discussed Star Trek Beyond. Looks like there won't be much as far as Spock/Jim, but Spock and Bones spend a lot of time together. I also hear that Chekov will get a lot of attention as well. Hopefully the movie will be good! What do you guys think about it?


	8. Things'll be dandy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I ever mention that I actually wrote this for a challenge? I don't remember who prompted it though... oh well.

Jim stomped into sickbay and tackled Bones into a bear hug as soon as he saw him. "Damn it, Jim! You don't know what kind of fluids I have on me!" Bones lectured him, but hesitantly hugged him back.

"What you did last night... How did you know it would work?" Jim asked, holding his friend tightly against his body.

"What do you take me for, Jim? Everybody knows that when you treat a kid for a bad wound, you gotta keep 'em occupied with something else in order to actually help. I just gave you something to think about." Bones said, patting Jim on the back tentatively. "So, uh, are you going to let me go, or am I going to have to treat these people with you latched to me like an Antedean cyst?"

"Yes." Jim replied simply, not letting go, and Bones sighed again.

"Well... why don't you wait in my office until I'm finished here? Then we can have some smoochy time." He suggested, and Jim laughed and pulled away.

"Alright, I'll wait." He said, and walked off to Bones' office. Once he entered, he saw Spock sitting at the desk, his back facing him. He walked forward slowly, wondering if he should just turn and run now.

"Good morning, Jim." Spock said as he stood, and turned to face him. Jim froze, swallowing hard.

"Morning, Spock. Are you... waiting for Bones?" He asked, jerking his thumb over his shoulder in a gesture to the relative location of the doctor. Spock nodded.

"I came here to wait after I saw that the two of you were occupied with each other." Spock said, and Jim was quick to reply.

"I was thanking him for last night. He helped me get over my nightmares." He said defiantly, not wanting Spock to think that he and Bones were involved.

"I see. I wo-"

"Now that that's taken care of- Spock? What're you doing here?" Bones asked when he showed up in the room. The Vulcan turned to him, clasping his hands behind his back.

"I wished to discuss the matter of which we approached yesterday." Spock said, then raised an eyebrow. "I see that it is no longer relevant. I shall see you at a later date, Doctor. Jim." He nodded at the both of them, and left the room.

"What'd you guys talk about last night?" Jim asked, and he couldn't help feeling that it was about him.

"It's about you." Bones stated, as if reading his thoughts. He moved around him to sit at his desk, and he leaned back in the chair. Jim sat across from him. "I can't take complete credit for what happened last night. It was actually Spock's idea. The insults were all mine, but the basis of the thing came from Spock."

"What?" Jim asked, and Bones groaned impatiently.

"How about you go ask him?" He asked irritably, resting his hand on his desk and drumming his fingers. "I'm tired of being the man in the middle of you guys' cat fight. You two got it worse than a couple of different species of poisonous frogs wanting to create offspring together."

"God, enough with the metaphors Bones, alright? That's an order." Jim said, pointing at Bones authoritatively before standing. "But thank you. Really." He said, and Bones nodded. He walked out of Sickbay.

It was time to go find Spock.

\--

Bones stood in the transporter room, waiting for Pou to arrive. The ship was orbiting around Rewan II, and it was time for them to beam down. Pou entered the room, and approached him. "Should you change your mind, the planet will be forever open to you." They said quietly, looking up at him.

"Thank you, Pou." Bones replied, and Pou hugged him. He swallowed down the apprehension and hugged the smaller being lightly. He almost felt guilty that he didn't feel the same way about Pou as they felt about him. "Could you do me a favor?" He asked, pulling away. Pou nodded avidly.

"Anything." They said, and Bones patted their shoulder.

"Don't make the same mistakes that she did." He said, and Pou frowned but nodded.

"Of course. All will be free on my land." They promised, and Bones smiled. The ensign at the controls coughed awkwardly.

"Coordinates are locked in. Whenever you're ready." He announced, and Pou nodded at him. They smiled at Leonard one last time before walking to the transporter pad. They were beamed off within seconds. Bones breathed out a large breath, and left the room.

He needed a drink.

-

Jim chimed the door, and walked in when he heard the acknowledgment. Spock stood from his desk and walked around to stand across from Jim. The door shut behind him, and he took a deep breath. "Thank you, Spock." He said quietly, feeling nervous.

"For what are you thanking me?" Spock asked, and Jim smiled.

"Thank you for having Bones help with my nightmares." He said, and Spock's eyes pointed at the floor.

"It was the logical thing to do." He said, and Jim had to clench his jaw to not snap about the Vulcan's 'logic.' Damn bastard. "I am glad that it was effective."

"You are?" Jim asked, feeling hopeful.

"I am sorry, Jim." Spock said quietly, still avoiding eye-contact. Jim opened his mouth to speak, but the other man kept talking. "If it were not for my adamance that you strictly follow all orders, then the chances of you accepting Hann's orders would have been a mere 7.39 percent. I take responsibility for-"

"Spock, shut up." Jim demanded, crossing his arms. "I'm not going to sit here and listen to you make excuses on my behalf. It was my fault. I was stupid-"

"You only did what you thought was required to protect your crew." Spock said, looking Jim in the eyes and stepping forward. "I am sorry that I blamed you for your actions on Rewan II."

"I've missed you." Jim blurted out, his eyes burning. Spock opened his mouth, then shut it, then he opened it again and spoke.

"I had expected otherwise." He admitted, and Jim glared at him.

"God, Spock, can't you see that I love you? Can't you feel it?" Jim asked imploringly, and Spock frowned ever so slightly.

"I..." He said, but didn't continue. Jim only looked at him, waiting for a reply. "I have missed you as well, Jim." He said quietly, and Jim's heart thumped in his chest. Spock swallowed, and held out his hand. Jim looked down to see two fingers extended to him, and he smiled. He placed his own two fingers on them, and neither men moved their hands away. Jim looked Spock in the eyes, knowing that the Vulcan could feel the immense love Jim had for him through the touch of their fingers.

Spock brought his other hand up to cup Jim's cheek, and he leaned forward until their lips touched lightly. Jim increased the pressure of their lips, kissing Spock longingly. The heat and love shared with the kisses was almost enough to make Jim's heart melt. It could have been minutes, hours, or days that they stayed there kissing, until they both pulled away in order to actually breathe properly.

"I must return to the science lab, Jim. Mr. Sulu is tending to a DNA sample that I left there earlier this morning." Spock said quietly, and Jim nodded. He kissed him one more time before letting him leave.

"Spock." Jim said as Spock got to the door, making the Vulcan turn back to him. "You might want to get your blush back under control." He suggested with a smile, and Spock frowned at him explicitly before nodding, the slight green tint not leaving his cheeks. He left the room, and Jim sighed, feeling warm. He finally had Spock back, and it felt so amazing.

\--

Jim, Spock, Bones, and Admiral Quinn all met in a meeting room to discuss the children. None of the kids could remember exactly where they were taken from, since they were all visiting a distant planet for vacation. The only thing that they could really do is send them back to their home planets.

Quinn decided that the kids would go back with him to the nearest Starbase, where they would all seek passage back to Earth to find a heavy security starship to transport them all back safely to their own planets. The admiral didn't want to interrupt the Enterprise's five year mission even more than he already had, and Jim was honestly relieved that he wouldn't have to be responsible for a bunch of children running around his ship.

When the meeting was finished, Quinn had Jim stay behind while Spock and Bones left back to duty.

"What is it, Admiral?" Jim asked, hoping it wasn't anything bad again.

"Kirk, I suspect that you might be relieved to know that Hann has been demoted, and is facing a legal trial back at Starfleet Headquarters. By ordering you to engage in sexual relations, and then threatening you and your crew, he broke about five different rules and three laws. I'm sorry it took so long for this to come to light. I hope that it doesn't effect your performance." Quinn said, and Jim was almost overwhelmed with relief.

"My performance is as perfect as it was before, Admiral sir." Jim said, not quite sure if he believed himself, but Quinn raised an eyebrow at him.

"Mhm, well, just know that I'm allowing you and your crew a week of shore leave on any planet you choose. You all deserve the vacation after all this... confusion." He said, and Jim smiled with gratitude.

"Thank you, Admiral. I really appreciate it." He said gratefully, and Quinn nodded and patted his shoulder. He frowned when Jim flinched slightly, but didn't say anything about it.

"Take care, Kirk." He said, and walked out of the room, leaving Jim alone. He smiled. Everything was going back into place, and it was a huge relief.

\--

That night, Jim laid down in his bed, looking up at the ceiling. The day had been pretty eventful, in all the most positive ways. It left a nice feeling in his stomach that allowed him to actually feel safe when he closed his eyes. He fell asleep quickly, dreaming of a nice sunny day back home where things were all good and well. A voice echoed through his mind, saying, "You're a great person... You care... You're generous... The best goddamn captain..."

He woke up when he felt a presence near him, and opened his eyes to see Spock climbing into bed with him. He smiled over at him, wrapping his arms around the warm Vulcan. Spock planted a kiss on his forehead, and took one of Jim's hands in his own.

Jim knew it would take time for things to go back to being completely normal with them, but he was willing to try his best to accomplish it. He only hoped that he and Spock both grew together as a couple by this experience. He breathed in Spock's scent, and whispered, "I love you, Spock." There was a silence afterwards, where Jim was mildly disappointed, but he closed his eyes to try and sleep. Tomorrow was a new day.

He felt warm, soft lips against his, before Spock pulled away and whispered, "I love you also, Jim."

 

Fin!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hoped you liked this. If you did, please for the love of all things holy and unholy, leave kudos. They feed my weary soul! And also comment, telling me what you liked and didn't like. Thank you all so much for reading, and have a good rest of your night!


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